Haiti by Summer Mejia

Haiti will be the first country I visit with a mission, to show Christ's love. There has always been a desire in my heart to go on a missions trip. Ive always looked at it as an opportunity to not just show others Jesus, but to travel. Seriously, best of both worlds. But God quickly changed my heart and continues to do so. It amazes me that Jesus knew what was in the heart of man and He still took that cross upon Him. Honestly, my desires were a bit selfish in the beginning and I didnt have much faith that I would be going on this trip. When I first heard about it, it was just an awesome idea to me. Ive been the type of person that has all these goals, but I never follow through. Ive missed out on a lot that way. But this, this was different, God made it all happen. I cannot take any credit other than thinking "Okay, what the heck. If you provide I'll go." But I honestly didn't think I'd be going. Something that Ive struggled with is believing that God can heal or provide financially. I know, pretty crazy to doubt Him in that aspect especially when He saved my life and completely transformed me, but not heal or provide? Anyway, so like always God totally showed me up in the craziest way.

Within a few months I was fully funded. I couldn't believe it. It blew me away and made me realize how much of a blessing it is when others give. That changed my heart. As months passed by I kept thinking to myself, "When I get to Haiti, God is going to radically change me. When I get to Haiti, I will be so on fire for Jesus." All was going to change when I got to Haiti. Or so I thought. But God told me, "why wait till Haiti? Why not now?" Ive always had this mentality that my future self would be a better Christian, a better daughter, a better servant. Ive put this standard on myself which I was never meeting up to. And slowly it kept bringing me down because I didn't feel good enough for God. Not because he made me feel that way but because I was trying so hard to earn his love. I was so consumed with myself. "Am I serving Him enough? Am I loving Him enough? Am I representing Him enough? Am I enough?" BUT Jesus would constantly remind me that regardless, He loved me and that I was good enough. He demonstrated that by giving up His life on the cross. His life, which is worth more than anything we can ever imagine. He loves me, not because I deserve it, but because He IS love. Reading scripture really made that tangible to me, worship and prayer confirmed it.

So as the time for Haiti comes closer, God has worked so much in my heart (which would probably take hours telling you about it). He has taught me that when love overflows in our heart, there should be no room for insecurities, bitterness, crazy emotions, hatred, and fear. This love has compelled me to pursue unity in the body of Christ even if we don't agree with each other or we are hurt by those we love. This love has built my confidence more and more. This love has changed my love for God and for others. By believing and living out the truth that God loves me, a fervent desire has sparked in my heart to show these kids in Haiti the love of God. I seriously already love them and I haven't even met them. At first I thought I would be the one blessing them, but I know in my heart that they will be the ones blessing me. My God is a God that cares for the orphans, the sick, the widowed, the lost, the broken and the list goes on and on. And to conclude, as I look back at the girl who was unsure about herself and this trip, I am thankful that I have a God that is constant, never changes and loves his children. Now I can confidently say I am a daughter of a King. I am a daughter of the Almighty One. I am a daughter of a God whose love surpasses all understanding. I am His.